Francis Did What?!
by Matt Magnet
Summary: Here's a fic all about Francis, for all those Chris Masterson fanatics out there. Please review, and don't forget to read the author's note at the top of the fic. Thanx!
1. Default Chapter Title

Author's Note: Constructive criticism is good, but I will be extremely pissed if I get any more flames *that means you, Tobias Darkwalker*. Flames are incredibly stupid and hurtful, and there's absolutely no point to them. Please spare my feelings, and stop writing them.

Francis Did What?! Part 1

** **

"Oh man. Is it morning already?" Francis groaned. He sat up and squinted angrily at the bright sunlight that was streaming in through the window. His roommate, Stanley, yanked the covers off of him.

"Yes it's morning. And if you don't get your butt out of bed soon, Spangler will kill you. Class is starting in 5 minutes, and you can't afford to be late again," Stanley grabbed his books, and walked out of the room.

"5 minutes? I can't believe I overslept for so long!" Wearily, Francis rushed to get dressed.

As soon as Francis stood up, he felt so dizzy that he had to lie down. The everyday noises at Marlin Academy pounded loudly through his brain like a jackhammer. The sunshine made him wince. Francis had never felt so hung over in his life.

"I never should have gone to that kegger," he muttered to himself. Nevertheless, Francis was forced to get up and drag his weary body to class. 

Francis slid into the seat next to Stanley a few seconds after the bell rang. The teacher gave him a withering look, but continued with the lesson. Francis let out a sigh of relief, happy that he wouldn't get into trouble.

"You shouldn't have had so much beer last night. You're too wild. When are you ever going to settle down?" patronized Stanley.

"I don't know. Probably never." Francis threw an angelic smile at the teacher, who shook his head and went on lecturing.

******

By the next weekend, Francis had forgotten all about his awful hangover, and was ready to party again. His friend Aaron had told Francis that his parents would be away for the weekend, so Aaron was throwing a huge party in his parent's mansion.

Francis was glad that his room was on the first floor of the academy. It made it easy for sneaking out. At 11:00, Francis carefully pushed open the window, and glided noiselessly outside. He shut the window, and looked in to make that Stanley was sleeping. He was, so Francis would have no trouble getting caught and berated.

When Francis arrived at Aaron's mansion, the party was in full swing. Rap music and bright lights were blaring out the front door. A girl was throwing up loudly in the bushes, and one of the seniors who attended Marlin Academy was running around the yard in nothing but his birthday suit.

Francis pushed his way inside, and was immediately handed a cup of beer. He downed it in one sip and went over to the keg to get another. Francis stopped dead in his tracks on his way to the keg.

Sitting on a couch, talking and laughing with her friends, was the most beautiful girl Francis had ever seen. Her golden hair made her look like an angel. The turquoise eyes sparkled, and danced with mirth. 

The girl turned around and saw Francis. Her breath caught in her throat. Francis felt like he was going to faint, now that he had seen her beauty head on. The two people were completely oblivious to anything else that going on around them.

Francis gulped vociferously, and ambled over to her. "Hi, I'm Francis."

"I'm Blaire," the girl smiled, and Francis felt his knees go weak.

It was love at first sight.

******

"You know Blaire, these past weeks have been the best of my life," Francis grinned up at his girlfriend. Blaire beamed, and leaned over to kiss him.

"Mine too. It's like we're meant for each other," cooed Blaire.

"I know exactly what you mean. I love you." The happy couple kissed again. Francis felt like he was the luckiest man alive. "You make me feel like I could do anything! Even something completely crazy!"

"Like what, Francis?"

"Well, I'm sure how to say this, but," Francis mustered up all of his courage, "Blaire, will you marry me?"


	2. Default Chapter Title

Francis Did What?! Part 2

** **

"M-M-married? You want to get married?" stuttered Blaire.

"Yes, I do. I've never felt this way about anyone before. I want to spend the rest of my life with you," Francis smiled lovingly up at his girlfriend.

"Oh, of course I'll marry you!" Blaire threw her arms around Francis, and the happy couple kissed for what seemed like hours.

"I have an idea!" Francis shouted suddenly.

"What?"

"Lets drive to Las Vegas, and get married now!" Francis yanked Blaire to her feet, and pulled her to her car.

"Elope?! But-but-but, are you sure? Won't your parents be mad? Especially your mom?" asked Blaire.

"I don't care! They're thousands of miles away! And even my mother can't stand in the way of true love." To her own amazement, Blaire followed Francis into the car, and they began the long drive to Las Vegas.

******

"Do you Francis take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?" inquired the minister at the Quick N' Easy Marriage wedding chapel/casino in Las Vegas. 

"I do."

"And you do you Blaire take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do."

"By the power vested in me by the state of Las Vegas, I now pronounce you man and wife. Here's $30 dollars in chips, have a lucky night. You may kiss the bride," the minister smiled as the young couple kissed, and handed them the chips as a wedding present.

"I love you Francis."

"I love you Blaire." 

Francis and Blaire had never been so happy in their entire lives. Over a buffet dinner, they agreed that Francis would drop out of Marlin Academy, and move into Blaire's apartment. 

After they had finished eating, Blaire forced Francis to find a pay phone, and call his family.

Unfortunately, Lois was the one to pick up the phone. "Hello?"

"Hi Mom! It's me," Francis was in mental agony.

"Oh hi, honey. How are you?"

"I'm good. In fact, I'm wonderful. But Mom, there's something I have to tell you. I got married."

"YOU DID WHAT?????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" shrieked Lois. She spent the next 45 minutes screaming at her eldest son about how he was throwing his life away, and would live to regret it. 

When Lois was so hoarse from yelling she could barely speak, she slammed the telephone down. Francis hung up, and walked over to Blaire.

"So how'd it go?" she asked.

"Not as bad as I thought," grinned Francis. "This is going to be so great."

******

2 months later, Francis wasn't very happy. He thought that married life would be great. It wasn't. 

Blaire nagged Francis non-stop. She nagged about everything from what he ate to the way he dressed. Whatever he did, she could find fault in it. Now that they were married, Blaire didn't let Francis go off to keggers, clubs, or bars every weekend. She expected him to stay home with her. Francis missed his old roommate Stanley horribly.

Nowadays, Francis had to work. Blaire had an internship at a newspaper, but they couldn't live on that small salary alone. Francis was forced to work full time at McDonalds.

Francis hated working at McDonalds. It was the most degrading thing he had ever had to do. He longed for Marlin Academy, and all his old friends. He even missed Spangler screaming at him. Blaire got on his nerves. Francis wanted the marriage to be annulled, or maybe even a divorce.

One night, Blaire came home in an exceptionally good mood. She grinned at Francis while she fixed him a candle lit dinner. Over dinner, Blaire dropped a bombshell.

"I have wonderful news," smiled Blaire.

"Oh yeah? What?" Francis said.

"Honey, we're going to have baby!" 

"A-a-a-a baby? We're gonna have a baby?" sputtered Francis. The fork that was half way to his mouth clattered onto the floor. 

Francis felt sick. He was so dizzy he couldn't think straight. He looked up at his wife's anxious face, and promptly passed out.

When Francis regained consciousness, Blaire was standing worriedly by his side. All of a sudden, Francis remembered that Blaire was pregnant.

"We can't have a baby! I don't want a baby! I don't want a baby!" Francis screamed.

******

"Dude, wake up. You've been screaming 'I don't want a baby' for the past 10 minutes!" Stanley yanked the bedding off of Francis's bed, waking him up.

Francis sat up, drenched in sweat. "What am I doing here? Where's Blaire?"

"Who's Blaire? You don't know anybody named Blaire," Stanley looked at Francis like he was crazy.

"You mean it was all a dream? I'm not married? There is a God!" Francis, ecstatic, jumped out of bed. He had never been so happy in all his life. 


End file.
